it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
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talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
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There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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