What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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