I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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