those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize