Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize