Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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