I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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