Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
