Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
