I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
