vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
