We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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