Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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