David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
