We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
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