If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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