its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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