your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
