clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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