You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
