The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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