I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
im holly from the hills drunk
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
