I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize