My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
