I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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