He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
