just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
