I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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