bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
