# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
