You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
