brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
