I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
