sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
