I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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