I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
