Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
