he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm bleeding and have questions
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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