Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He did a backflip because drugs
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