I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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