oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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