Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
