this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
