Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize