We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
