Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
