so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize