Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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