yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize