She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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