just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
