its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
