You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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