I must be too annoying 4 u.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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