I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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