Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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