just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
When did angry sex become our thing?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
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