i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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