where am i from again
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
