He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
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