Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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