You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
How does it feel to date your dad?
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